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a selection from:
Man to Man: Surviving Prostate Cancer
by Michael Korda
continuing Part IV - Recovery
Page 250 - (go to page 249)
Most important, I had the information I needed, and with it the
sense of pressure diminished, along with the fear that I would never
be able to have sex again. ''Do not become discouraged!'' Dr. Walsh
had written, and I was not. If Walsh was right, then patience was
necessary, and the ability to have an erection would return in its own
good time. If he was wrong — or I lost patience — then at least I knew
that Dr. Eid could help me, in any way I chose.
In the meantime, I was alive, and that was what mattered. The
rest, I was convinced, would solve itself in time, and if it did not,
then I would move on to the next stage and decide what I could live
with and what I couldn't. Maybe I'd get used to the injections, if that
was what I decided on; maybe once the incontinence was more
under control, I'd be able to use the vacuum pump on a regular basis;
if all else failed, there was always the implant. In any case, medical
technology was moving forward rapidly, as Dr. Eid had explained to
me. There was talk of patches (like those for giving up smoking) replacing the injections, or even of the medication being available in
the form of an eyedropper, so all you had to do was drop x number
of drops into the penis, then wait for an erection.
Whatever I did, I would know when it was time, and I would
know, too, how far I wanted to go. And I would not decide without
knowing exactly what Margaret's feelings on the subject were.
Every day since then has brought small improvements so far as sex
is concerned; the ability to have orgasm has returned in small, slow
stages and although as yet there are no real signs of erection returning, beyond a few hopeful twinges, my visit to Dr. Eid made me
much more philosophical on the subject than I had ever been or expected to be. Yes, he is probably right about the problem of atrophy,
but it may not be as crucial as he believes, and in any case, the important thing is to know that there's help out there when and if I decide it's needed. Knowing that, I can relax and let sex return at its
own pace, as Dr. Walsh had said it would, just as continence has
done. The body, as my yoga instructor keeps telling me, heals at its
own pace, and can't be hurried.
None of it worries me anymore. It is as if cancer itself had inoculated me against lesser fears. I had learned, as AA regulars do, to live
one day at a time and take what each day brings without worrying
too much about the next one — and that is no small lesson to have
learned.
Selections reproduced at www.phoenix5.org with the kind permission of the author.
Copyright © 1996, 1997 by Success Research Corporation
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