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Chapter 6
His Prostate and Me
I was not surprised when I read about a study that
showed that some men exaggerated their sexual prowess
before treatment for prostate cancer. In the same study, men
thought they were not potent after surgery and their wives
thought they were. Unless there has been a follow-up study to
explain the discrepancy, the incongruity is not clear. I have
my own thoughts, which are not based on any science. I think
it is related again to the general feeling of virility that
decreases with age and anything that affects a man's feeling of
virility affects a man's potency.
Researchers are also studying what they believe to be
male menopause, which has been aptly named "viropause."
Men experiencing "viropause" have a decline in strength,
muscle mass and muscle tone. However, the physical
symptoms of "viropause" are milder than as those found in
female menopause. Apparently, however, the emotional strain
of "viropause" is comparable to that of female menopause,
causing such symptoms as depression, anxiety and fear. When
a man faces aging issues and then adds the strain of prostate
cancer, which could further drastically affect his manhood, he
often becomes more vulnerable and more silent about his
health and emotional problems than ever.
Dick and I gingerly broached the sexuality subject. Dick
talked about impotence with the same pragmatic approach as
if he were explaining the details of operating a drilling rig. He
explained that impotence affected his ability to maintain an
erection sufficient for intercourse, but it did not mean that he
had lost his sexual drive, sensation or ability to have an
orgasm.
After he recounted all the many methods he had used to
try to reestablish his former potency, I was teary. He and so
many other men have shown admirable courage in facing this
traumatic dilemma with such confident attitudes. In Dick's
case, he pressed forward to find a solution in spite of repeated
failures. I was all the more admiring of this incredibly fine
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