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from the personal experiences menu


Advice from a wife on using a VED...


[A woman wrote to a list with problems she and her husband were having with their new VED. Wendy gave some advice.]

I ordered the Mission VED (from recommendations from [this list]) for my husband. He watched the video and tried things out but found he got quite chaffed and sore.

Our first attempts at using the VED were not very successful. We skimmed through the video and jumped too quickly into trying to use the VED for intercourse. After several unsuccessful attempts, we had about given up on the VED. We put it aside and didn't try it for a few weeks. When we did come back to it--we made a pact to take things very slow.

We watched the video in its entirety about three or four times. My husband then embarked on a week's worth of daily practice with the VED to master its use. We decided to not attempt intercourse until he was comfortable with the VED. For the next week, my husband had two 15-20 minute practice sessions a day. He would slowly pump his penis counting to 15 between each pump. When he got to a point of discomfort, he would carefully pump one more time. He would release and repeat for a full 15 minutes. On the last two pumps, he would practice transferring the ring. This gave him an opportunity to try the different sized rings to find the one that was comfortable and that would hold the erection.

Also found that the erection was good, but it was flimsy at the base (near the ring). We had hoped this device would provide an erection good enough for me to be on top (something we have not been able to do since his surgery).

My husband did not have the hinge effect after perfecting its use. He did have a very flopsie mopsie erection during our first attempts at using the VED, when we were rushing too quickly and were unfamiliar with its use. After perfection, my husband had the most rigid erections that he had ever had in his life. It was usable in every position; however, my husband had hardly any sensation when he was in the missionary position. We had to use other positions for him to get maximum feeling.

Can you pro VED users give us novices some tips on how best to use this? When is the best time to use it--before we start foreplay or during or...? How do we incorporate using this into the timetable of our lovemaking?

Before lovemaking one of us would prepare the VED and then set it aside. (Make sure that you have ample KY Jelly on the rim and ring.) We would then resume normal foreplay. My husband would always have some blood flowing naturally during foreplay. When I was aroused enough to begin intercourse, my husband would take about 15 seconds to create an erection. It will take longer if you have no blood flow into the penis. As soon as he had created an erection and had banded the erection, we would begin intercourse just as we normally had done.

Will his erection be better during lovemaking (since I will be there) vs. trying it out solo? If you give him a week of practice sessions without the pressure of intercourse/performance--you'll be surprised how successful that things will be for you and your husband. I would not use the VED before foreplay. I think that the banded penis would get uncomfortable. I also think that the longer the erection is banded, the more chance that there is of some blood leaking and the erection diminishing.

Good luck,
[written 828/01]

[The views expressed are not medical advice but merely the opinions of others. Consult your physician for medical advice.]


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