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A selection from
cover of book the men's club
[page 15]

Of course, I told myself that nothing would be found. My fantasy allowed as how my PSA results were a false alarm - the result of sexual activity or other bodily functionings that can cause PSA numbers to spike upward. That was the dream. The reality proved otherwise when the doctor told me he'd felt a nodule.

I don't know if I showed any signs of reaction to what I'd heard, but my head was screaming. A nodule? What medical euphemism is "nodule " meant to cover? A protuberance, a knob, a knot like mass of tissue? Dear God! A nodule, a nodule - my kingdom for no nodule! My impulse was to flee.

Mawn did his best to de-alarm me.

"It could be tumorous tissue, Bert... or it could be a benign calcified lump of some kind. Nothing to get upset about yet." He paused to look over his glasses at me. "But we do have to go a little further to see what's what."

This was all said so evenly, I convinced myself, at least for a few seconds, that my odds stood at fifty-fifty. Hell, I'd once passed a calcified kidney stone. Perhaps, even as we spoke, excess calcium crystals were forming on the outer edge of my wayward gland. And maybe there really are extra-terrestrial life forms looking to have their way with us!

"What does 'further' mean?" I heard my mouth asking, my mind frantically looking for an exit back to a few minutes earlier.

"We have to do a sonogram and a biopsy," Mawn answered. "Annette will set up an appointment for you."

I remember nodding dully, trying to look sage. The sonogram didn't sound so bad (little did I know), but the thought of a biopsy sent another squirt of adrenalin into an already overloaded system. I couldn't wait to leave and be alone so that my innards would quiet down and I could begin to chew on this new turn of events.

[End of selection - this is only a portion of Chapter 1]

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