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MY MOTHER' DEATH & THE EFFECT ON MY FATHER
[This is a response to my post of 1/13/03. Daryl sent this to me as a private email on 1/13/03. It is reproduced here with his kind permission. -- Robert Young, Webmaster]
I am writing this from the perspective of watching my father after my
mothers death from breast cancer at age 54.
It seems to me that not only is it too easy, it is almost automatic that the
spouses life becomes totally focused on the one dying. This can last from
several months to several years. Then when the patient dies the surviving
spouse is at a total loss with limited outside routine, interests, or even
contact. One thing I think we can do is to encourage our spouses to
continue outside interests even during our last days. This may mean having
our children, friends, or hospice help with the personal care so that they
can have time and energy to continue these activities.
My father had a sense of lost that that could not be filled by his children
or grandchildren. He isolated himself from his friends and other family for
several years. This is why I think it is important to maintain outside
contact so that these relationships are continuing and do not need to be
restarted again after the death.
Just my thoughts,
Daryl
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| This information is provided for educational purposes only and does not replace or amend professional medical advice. Unless otherwise stated and credited, the content of Phoenix5 (P5) is by and the opinion of and copyright © 2000 Robert Vaughn Young. All Rights Reserved. P5 is at <http://www.phoenix5.org>. P5's policy regarding privacy and right to reprint are at <www.phoenix5.org/infopolicy>.
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